My, My How Times Have Changed...

Through the generations, every mother has worked their butt off to produce and raise tiny humans…It’s hard, no one can argue that. But I feel that apart from a mom just being a mom, everything else is different.

When I was born, my grandma literally lived across the mobile home park from us and she spent every waking second at our house taking care of me, and even my mom. She needed naps too, I mean all the other moms can relate to that right? Baby’s up for 20 out of the 24 hours a day and we’re still expected to be bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning. Back then not being completely put together was okay and it was easy to hide “mom hair” (you know what I’m talking about, those mile high perms am I right?) Many of us grew up in the 80s and 90s I’d assume, where we roamed around the neighborhood by ourselves or with a big group of friends, where we’d walk all the way across town just to see if our friend was home instead of calling them, where all of our time and I mean ALL OF OUR TIME was spent outdoors, and the street lamps were our que to get our butts home.

Those are what I call the “good days.” Everyone seemed to love everyone, everyone knew every one, and we were all like a huge family. Taking care of each other’s kids when a parent had to go to the store, or would be getting home late. There wasn’t the comparing, the shaming for letting your child walk to school or try new ways to parent, or the pressure to feed your child solely organic all day every day. TV dinners and fast food were considered okay and no one bashed you for it or rubbed it in your face. “Helicopter” parents weren’t a thing, you just cared about your child. You didn’t get criticized for going to the movies, going on vacation, or lord forbid having a night out for the first time in 6 months and not taking your children. People actually willingly asked if you needed a night out instead of bashing you for it.

I mean, I don’t know about you guys but by the time I had hit 6 I was going to the park alone and walking to my friends’ houses, and there weren’t laws on how old your child had to be in order to be left alone. Now, I’m not saying that the mommas of the past had it easier, because every part of life has its “hardships” I’m just saying that moms used to have it a lot easier as moms. For example, I know more moms than I’d like to admit, give birth, come back from the hospital right away and don’t just immediately get back into the swing of things but they’re also right back to making lunches, getting kids ready for school, going back to work, etc. When I was working outside the home it was tough, I was trying to squeeze as much time as possible with my baby before I had to go back to work. It’s rough and moms today have parents who work, travel, dating, or just are busy with their own lives. They don’t have time to come and stay with you after birth or come spend every day for a week, we just have to push through it.

None of this means that generations of moms before us didn’t have a difficult time, being a mom is so incredibly hard. It just means that things are different and times are different, like the expectations we put on ourselves to build a career, make it to every soccer game, being that perfect Pinterest mom, and keeping up with your children’s daily activities THEN being the person who oversees it all for your whole family. Then you’ve got the pressure of everyone else watching and judging (social media doesn’t help) and then you’re left feeling like you need to do more, but you’ve got no help…it leaves us mommas feeling alone and isolated. Many women these days don’t have a strong support system like they used to, they’re all alone in trying to figure everything out. No more evenings and afternoons where you spent time as a family and where you headed home based on the street lamps. We’re spending time driving to sporting events, picking up extra hours and overtime just to pay for said sporting events, worrying about work deadlines and school projects. I’m not saying life is horrible, we have great things at our fingertips like online shopping, online grocery pickup, and you can even sign your kids up for school online now. The moms before us had it hard in other ways and technology has made it easier for current mommas, but the standard for raising children is different and how we are involved in our kids’ lives is higher.

We just put really high expectations on ourselves and feel shamed by others comments about how we feed our kids, what we feed them, how often we go on vacation, how often we go out for some “me time.” Literally 62% of households have two working parents these days compared to 51% twenty years ago and 31% in 1976. Literally we need to start taking our own advice and stop being so hard on ourselves because this is beyond exhausting! We can only do so much for our kids and at the end of the day they’re not going to care if their carrots were organic, how clean our homes are, or if they had the most expensive soccer shoes. They’re going to remember how loved they were, how present you are, (put the phones down ladies, Instagram can wait), and how yummy your grilled cheese sandwiches were. We need to cut down on the mom shaming and start supporting and lifting each other up. We’re all trying our best and despite how we all feel, we’re doing a good job because this shit is hard ya’ll.

#mom #momlife #millenialmom